The First Show

Location: Royal Grammar School, Newcastle, England

Today was the first performance of Jordy Pordy in England and I was very excited but nervous about audience reaction. Plus, I was scrambling to figure out how to get around not having my set and only half of the bull costume (Stacie's bags are still missing—and it's day three!)

The performance was a session option included in a day-conference for Jewish learning. Our session was the same time as the wine tasting, so I already felt like I was being gypped. Jordy Pordy over free wine? Tough Call. We arrived at the Royal Grammar School in the morning for our rehearsal (the show was slated for the afternoon) and we met a loopy 40-something woman who was getting ready for her dance workshop right before our show. After talking for a few minutes, she slyly forced Stacie and me to join in on her workshop. Fine, I'm up for a little movement as a warm-up before my show.

Turns out that Stacie and I were thrown into this "dance workshop" with eight 60+ and older British Jewish women who thought tapping their feet and waving their arms in the air was dancing. The instructor led us through her favorite Jewish dances, apparently off her "Annoying Jewish Kids Sing Jewish Music Volume 3" CD. I was the only guy in this workshop, which also made things awkward. But the highlight of the workshop came when the instructor got to the climax of the session: The Hava Nagilah! "Did you know," she informs us, "that people don't know how to dance the Hava Nagilah anymore! Seriously. People are now hiring dancers to come in and teach the dance at their Bar and Bat Mitzvah parties." The next ten minutes was spent learning how to cross one foot over the other while moving around in a circle. Oy.

Finally, it came time for my session! The show was in a nice intimate space and about 20 people showed up. As I began the first 20 minutes or so of comedy, the audience had no reaction. Nothing. No laughs. No smiles. Just completely motionless faces. Shit, I thought. My first performance in Britain and they already hate it. It was a long show to get through, but afterwards I was pleasantly surprised with the audience reaction: applause! People came up to Stacie and me and told us how much they liked it. Great, but, um, were you ALIVE during the actual performance? I guess I'll just have to get used to these quite Brits.